August 20, 2017

This weekend was pretty nice.

Friday I celebrated Kevin’s birthday and went to Necto with him, James, Zach, and Anna. It was pretty fun.

Saturday I went to my parent’s house and spent some time with them. We went garage saling and I didn’t get anything, but

Today I went to the gym and then went to Cameron’s with Anna. Zach met us there. We all went to Olive Garden, then to the pool, then to get ice cream, and finished off the day helping Anna get closer to caught up with Game of Thrones.

It was a nice weekend, but so short. That’s how the end of summer tends to go 🙂

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August 15, 2017

Our president, if you can even call him that / notice me not capitalizing it, is such a tool. Saying that the “alt-left” is just as dangerous as the alt-right is ridiculous. At the same time, I’m wrestling with trying to understand that folks can say what they want and do have the right to assemble. I don’t think there was an issue until someone drove their car through a crowd of counter protestors (non-violent), but once that line was crossed then our leader should have called it out.

A lot of folks are hurting right now and I’m not sure how to best be an ally and support folks while navigating my own identities and owning that it is my community that is hurting folks. It’s hard to educate when folks won’t even meet you at the table.

Today would have been 10 years with Blake. I just watched an episode of “Atypical” and teared up when the wife cheated on her husband. Seeing it and thinking of how Blake could do that to me hurt really bad. More than I thought it would have.

Ellie was just running around like a crazy hound in circles in the yard.. lol

August 14, 2017

I just got back to Ann Arbor after spending the weekend in Chicago with Cameron. It was really nice. We stayed with his sibling/brother Riley.

Friday we went to a vegan diner in Boystown which was cool. I feel like every time I go I end up at DS Tequila – which is fine, but it was nice to change things up. We came back and tried to get Cameron caught up on Game of Thrones.

Saturday we walked 30,000 steps.. lol. We went to a small coffee shop for breakfast, and then to the Bean, and then to Navy Pier, and then to some museum that didn’t have any art even though it was supposed to, and then all the way over to where Riley worked to meet up with them afterwards. We went to this super cute coffee shop and got a beverage and then back to Riley’s apartment. We went to the beach for an hour and then came back and got ready for Market Days (even though I had been wanting to go all day). Riley and Cam got white girl wasted, and I was feeling pretty buzzed, but we ended up going to bed by like 9:30/10:00. lol

We woke up at 3:00 (or around there) because Riley’s neighbor was screaming in the hallway. He had locked himself out and was being ridiculous.

Sunday we went to this awesome little restaurant called The Growling Rabbit. It was delicious. After we went to the beach for a few hours, and then downtown to go shopping. We didn’t end up getting anything, but that’s okay. Then we went back to the cute coffee shop because Cameron really liked it. We went back to Riley’s for one second and then to dinner at some fancy italian restaurant. I wasn’t feeling it so I ordered the house salad and then got McDonald’s afterwards.

Today we left pretty early. It took us a while to get back, but that’s okay. I was only annoyed once and that’s because Cameron had us go way out of our way (okay, it wasn’t really THAT far) because he wanted Panera.. and I wasn’t even that hungry. lol.

Overall it was a fantastic weekend and I didn’t really get too angry at any point.

August 8, 2017

Today was rough.

Interviewed a candidate this morning for Spectrum. I thought they did really great, but I think there was definitely bias against the candidate because there is an internal candidate and the candidate was white. I think assumptions are often drawn around white candidates and I don’t think that it is necessarily fair – logical maybe, but not fair.

I left work a bit early to meet my mom and sister because I thought my sister was staying the night. She wasn’t. She decided she doesn’t want to move in full time because of her relationship with Josh. I’m kind of over her. Then we went to dinner. Then my mom bought her a shit ton of clothes. I was just over it. I’m down here all the time and we rarely get dinner and I never got a shopping trip before my first professional job. I don’t want to sit here and whine, though.

There was a whole lot of drama around Ellie. I get really tired of her not listening, which she usually only does around visitors. She stresses me out a lot. Then my mom said that I was blaming my disappointment / taking out my disappointment on her. Not fair and mean.

August 5, 2017

It’s been one week, pretty much, since Cameron and I have been officially boyfriend. It’s weird because I feel that, like, passion and spark. I mean, he annoys me sometimes with constant chatter or chewing in my ear lol.. but for the most part I’m quite happy. It’s refreshing.

With Tyler I feel like I didn’t necessarily have that because I felt guilty because Blake wasn’t around, which wasn’t fair to Tyler at all.

With Blake, I had that feeling maybe in high school.. but I just haven’t felt that way in so long.

I need to go to the gym to get swole and do cardio. 🙂

July 31, 2017

I asked Cameron to be my boyfriend yesterday. He said yes.

We had a nice chat and I talked through all my insecurities and worries. He teared up, though.

I’m not going to be working at Pierpont as a CCI/building person and that’s okay. I’m finishing up my application for CSG and they mentioned something about me working with Change It Up. I’m just going to keep my options open.

This summer has been one of the best summers of my life. Friends. Weather. Enjoying it. I want to get to Lake Michigan one more time.

July 27, 2017

Ellie walks so funny. It’s like her hind legs are twigs.

Serving on this search committee has been so helpful for me. It just opened up my eyes / reminded me of what folks look for on their resume as well as thinking about the way in which I interview. Additionally, I was able to help create some change by asking if we could send the topics to them prior to the phone interview. I think that would help me with processing, but I’d be interested in their feedback.

I texted back and forth with Karla today about our friendship and how she had hoped I would be better but never was. I truly am an awful friend, but that makes me not want to be anyone’s friend so I’m not disappointing them. *sigh*

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July 25, 2017

I think I’m going to ask Cameron to be my boyfriend on Friday. It’s strange to think that I’m about to enter into an adventure with someone new, but it feels right (kinda). We have so many shared interests and he’s such a sweetheart.

I get irritated around the know-it-all attitude, but I think that may just be a Pisces thing.

Today was the last day I got to spend with Jordan. It was an appropriate ending. Anna, Kris, Kevin, James and his puppy came over to help send him on his way. Anna, Kris, Jordan and I went to get coffee after and then just cruised around laughing and listening to jams while enjoying the setting sun.

Folks make me feel bad about Ellie because she’s so hyper.. I think maybe I should call the vet. Makes me feel really bad.

July 19, 2017

The days are going by slow, which I should be thankful for. I have been loving this weather.

I went to Karla’s going away soiree yesterday at Hopcat. It’s weird that she’s leaving, but I think it makes sense. On to bigger and better things. I just feel like I’m stuck and I don’t know how to go beyond that. Do I uproot my entire life and just go? Do I find another place to work at in Michigan?

I’m not going to let my involvement with Cameron stop me from pursuing a great opportunity, though. I’ve learned that the hard way.

I wrote a goodbye letter to Jordan today, and ordered him a Batman thing. I hope he likes it.

I’m trying to be a better friend, but it is so exhausting to me.

July 16, 2017

I’m seriously getting so bad at blogging. I think, in part, it’s because my new responsibilities do not necessarily allow the time to do so. Let’s review what has happened for the past two weeks.

Last weekend.. I can’t recall what I did on Friday, but I don’t think it was too important. Cameron came over on Saturday and we hung out. He had hives all over his body, though 😦 Sunday I just remember going to the gym and to Save-a-lot. That’s about it.

Tuesday was kind of a shit show. I had to open Pierpont at 7am and we had a vendor that wanted access at 7am, and I figured they probably would just not show up until 7:30 or 8:00 but no.. they called me at 7:10 because they were lost. I had hit 8000 steps by 11am if that gives you any type of idea how crazy it was. They would ask me to run from opposite end of the building to them.. and then once I got there ask for an additional item.. it was a lot.

Wednesday and Thursday I participated in a facilitation training. I opened my mouth a bit too much in front of Thomas which I’m sure will come back to bite me on the butt.. around how I was doing the facilitation to appease the higher ups.. which is true.. I do want to present myself as caring about my work. The thing is.. I do care.. a lot. I just don’t show it the way they want me to, and so I’m adjusting my sails and going with their freaking breeze.

Friday was chill. I hung out with Cameron at Necto on Friday, and that was fun.

Saturday we went on the river but I was a bit hungover tbh. I got home after eating Olive Garden and slept from 5pm until 7:30am.

Today has been the most chill ever. I woke up and took Ellie for a walk, went to the gym, finished GLOW, and have been playing Pokemon all day. I’m going to download HBO Now, I think. I need to watch GoT.