June 25, 2018

My birthday, my last birthday of my twenties, was on Friday. I went to Live / Candy Bar on Thursday with Cameron & Zach/Kris. It was fun.

Friday (my actual birthday) we didn’t do like anything. We went and got the tree that I wanted, and I pouted because I was used to having more focus on me.. or at least being spoiled a bit more. Cam ended up going and getting me succulents to plant, a shirt, and yeah.. it was sweet of him when he really didn’t need to.

Saturday my parents and grandma came down. That was nice. We went to the Twisted Rooster which has some tasty food.

Sunday we went to the gym and that’s about it.

I had to go to the doctor on Sunday because the poison ivy was spreading on my genitals which was less than ideal. The shot was so painful, but it seems to be working.


June 20, 2018

Friday marks my last birthday in my twenties. I wasn’t even thinking about it until my mom just asked me if I was doing okay. Cameron asks me all the time, and I think I just autopilot to yes. I don’t know if I am. I haven’t done an actual mental check in quite some time. I feel.. like.. stunted, I guess? My sister is having a child soon, and my brother is getting married. Me? I’m just now reaching one year with Cameron, which is great and everything.. but.. I’m almost thirty. I.. I thought that maybe I would have accomplished more. I make less thank 50k a year, I have a tiny home that is still in disrepair and has a garage full of shit, and no children, no husband.

Now, to be fair.. I have a home. I have a cat, and a dog. I have friends. A beautiful boyfriend. Family that supports me, even though we argue. I just.. “no big deal.. I want more.” Which, I know, super greedy. Children are being taken away from their families at the border, and I’m here whining about entering my final year in my twenties.

My students joke about me being forty five, which.. is like.. funny.. but I think that it is maybe subconsciously impacting me. Life is so short. I’m low-key / high-key worried that because I waited so long to have kids that they won’t get to have the awesome relationship with my parents that I had hoped. Adoption can take forever.

Sigh. Here’s hoping that I can make it a memorable year, and that life looks favorably upon me.

Thoughts and prayers for Paul C’s mother.

June 11, 2018

Happy birthday, Karen! I hope she’s doing well. She looks happy on Facebook, which I’m happy for. I hope Blake’s doing well, too.

I had a nice weekend. I went to see Sharon Needles with Cameron on Friday, it was kind of unplanned. It was pretty fun. James told Cameron that he should be aware of me, though in regards to Patrick. I asked James about it and he said it was in regards to Nick. I’m very confused. I talk to them both, but nothing too explicit. I mean, I’ve told Patrick he’s cute.. but? I don’t know. It’s getting in Cameron’s head, especially after he was just getting over the Patrick stuff. Irritating.

Saturday we went to Portland for the ten year reunion. It was okay, people stayed in their same cliques. I left first, I think. I was also the first there, so I don’t particularly care. We left and were going to hang out with Tristan but the weather was garbage and the kayaking/tubing wouldn’t have been possible on Sunday which is okay.

I think I’m done reaching out and talking to people for a while. Let them talk to me if they want.

June 7, 2018

So much has happened since I last wrote. I’m trying to gauge where I’m at.

Currently, I’m eating salad and vegetarian chik’n nuggets. I have been eating garbage for the past few days.

This past weekend was interesting.

Friday I went to Ypsi Pride with Cameron and Ellie. We got down in front of an ice cream shop and this couple bent down and was talking about how mischievous small dogs can be. As soon as those words left their mouth, Ellie got loose from her collar and took off. I chased her around a vendor, down to main stage, down the bus stop and then down another road but was winded and couldn’t keep going. Luckily, Cameron kept going and was able to save her ❤ Knight in shining armor. Then he got a freaking air conditioner for the house ❤ ❤

Saturday was a whirlwind. Cam and I drove up to GR for Brooklyn’s dance recital. We drove back, hung out for a hot second and then headed to Matt’s going away party. I didn’t even want to go and thought it was flat out stupid he planned it on Pride, but he guilted me into it anyhow. We stayed for 20 minutes and then went to meet Tristan. We caught up with him and went to Rosie’s where we got a few drinks. Sam ended up showing up with random guys. Him and Tristan made out, and then met us later with Cameron and his friends. It was nice and chill, but Sam was falling over. He went back to his car with his friends and then ended up coming back. Apparently he did coke with them even though it was his first time meeting them -_- then he needed to go back to his car so I walked him. He cried about his sister dying last year, and wanted to stay in his car and then leave but I took the keys from him because I didn’t trust him. We went back to the place where Cam and his friends were and then headed back to Pride. Sam ended up disappearing because we stopped for a second to talk to other friends. We got to Rosie’s and then I get a text saying he’s leaving so I try to catch him before his uber leaves because his phone is at 1%. I literally ran. I couldn’t find him, but then I get a phone call later from one of the guys he was with saying I need to bring him his keys. I told him no and was super fucking pissed. Cameron took the phone and told Sam to come and then he eventually did. My whole pride was taken up trying to take care of Sam. Annoying.

Sunday we didn’t do a whole lot. We finished painting the other room.

I’m currently trying to finish painting the base board so I can use it again.