August 29, 2017

I hung out with Cameron all weekend and it was fabulous. He came over Friday and we did games and stuff at Anna’s which was fun. Saturday we just hung out and went to the gym, watched movies and had pizza. Zach came over and we went to aut bar which was nice. Sunday we just chilled all day and didn’t do a whole lot. Video games and Game of Thrones. 🙂

Ellie has been so good since I switched her to a new food, I’m diggin’ it.

Welcome Week is here! I’m thrilled.. kinda. I might be moving to CSG and making more $$ which could be cool. The interview went pretty well, I think.

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August 22, 2017

I still check up on Blake and Tyler. I probably will for a few years, maybe more, who really knows. They are a part of me and shaped who I am. To that I am grateful and resentful.

I was talking with Anna about stuff like that on our way to Cameron’s this weekend. “You know what sucks, is not knowing if they ever think about you.” To which she replied something along the lines of, “Yes, and not knowing if they ever want to try to rekindle.” To which we both agreed that they don’t. If both sides wanted to try, they would. I tried for nine years with Blake, and I went out of my way to try to make things work with Tyler. I take relationships seriously, so I hope Cameron is solid.

I don’t think my interview with CSG went well, but that’s okay. I have another interview on Monday with the Center for Entrepreneurship which should be cool. I’m not as jazzed about it because the pay isn’t everything, but I need to remind myself that pay isn’t the end all. I like my current job and it will need to be something super awesome to make me move away from it and into a more stressful position.

Cameron wrote me a list of things he likes about me:

A short List of things I like about you

  • The day after we met you wrote me a beautiful poem
  • You are thoughtful beyond words your giving heart makes me feel special
  • The motivation and dedication you have to a task is inspiring
  • You are there for your family and take their words seriously
  • Sometimes it takes a while, but when you open up your beautiful soul is revealed your eyes
  • When you laugh angles dance
  • You are tender and sweet when I am stressed
  • We nerd out about Pokemon, Drag, and GoT
  • I spent a night playing video games with you and there was nothing better
  • you care about your friends and you are there for them when they need it
  • you go out of your way to make sure I am comfortable
  • you take me to drag shows
  • We can talk about Riverdale and Comics all day
  • Sex with you is the most amazing feeling
  • you draw me cute pictures
  • Creating good characters and stories is one of your hidden talents
  • your arms are strong and warm
  • When I ugly cried on you, you still asked me to be your boyfriend
  • You are patient with me even though I am new at the whole dating thing
  • You, Jim Hoppes, are the most wonderful boyfriend and I am so thankful you asked me to be your boyfriend

Is that not the sweetest thing ever? I started writing a poem for him but haven’t finished it yet. Work in progress 🙂

August 20, 2017

This weekend was pretty nice.

Friday I celebrated Kevin’s birthday and went to Necto with him, James, Zach, and Anna. It was pretty fun.

Saturday I went to my parent’s house and spent some time with them. We went garage saling and I didn’t get anything, but

Today I went to the gym and then went to Cameron’s with Anna. Zach met us there. We all went to Olive Garden, then to the pool, then to get ice cream, and finished off the day helping Anna get closer to caught up with Game of Thrones.

It was a nice weekend, but so short. That’s how the end of summer tends to go 🙂

August 15, 2017

Our president, if you can even call him that / notice me not capitalizing it, is such a tool. Saying that the “alt-left” is just as dangerous as the alt-right is ridiculous. At the same time, I’m wrestling with trying to understand that folks can say what they want and do have the right to assemble. I don’t think there was an issue until someone drove their car through a crowd of counter protestors (non-violent), but once that line was crossed then our leader should have called it out.

A lot of folks are hurting right now and I’m not sure how to best be an ally and support folks while navigating my own identities and owning that it is my community that is hurting folks. It’s hard to educate when folks won’t even meet you at the table.

Today would have been 10 years with Blake. I just watched an episode of “Atypical” and teared up when the wife cheated on her husband. Seeing it and thinking of how Blake could do that to me hurt really bad. More than I thought it would have.

Ellie was just running around like a crazy hound in circles in the yard.. lol

August 14, 2017

I just got back to Ann Arbor after spending the weekend in Chicago with Cameron. It was really nice. We stayed with his sibling/brother Riley.

Friday we went to a vegan diner in Boystown which was cool. I feel like every time I go I end up at DS Tequila – which is fine, but it was nice to change things up. We came back and tried to get Cameron caught up on Game of Thrones.

Saturday we walked 30,000 steps.. lol. We went to a small coffee shop for breakfast, and then to the Bean, and then to Navy Pier, and then to some museum that didn’t have any art even though it was supposed to, and then all the way over to where Riley worked to meet up with them afterwards. We went to this super cute coffee shop and got a beverage and then back to Riley’s apartment. We went to the beach for an hour and then came back and got ready for Market Days (even though I had been wanting to go all day). Riley and Cam got white girl wasted, and I was feeling pretty buzzed, but we ended up going to bed by like 9:30/10:00. lol

We woke up at 3:00 (or around there) because Riley’s neighbor was screaming in the hallway. He had locked himself out and was being ridiculous.

Sunday we went to this awesome little restaurant called The Growling Rabbit. It was delicious. After we went to the beach for a few hours, and then downtown to go shopping. We didn’t end up getting anything, but that’s okay. Then we went back to the cute coffee shop because Cameron really liked it. We went back to Riley’s for one second and then to dinner at some fancy italian restaurant. I wasn’t feeling it so I ordered the house salad and then got McDonald’s afterwards.

Today we left pretty early. It took us a while to get back, but that’s okay. I was only annoyed once and that’s because Cameron had us go way out of our way (okay, it wasn’t really THAT far) because he wanted Panera.. and I wasn’t even that hungry. lol.

Overall it was a fantastic weekend and I didn’t really get too angry at any point.

August 8, 2017

Today was rough.

Interviewed a candidate this morning for Spectrum. I thought they did really great, but I think there was definitely bias against the candidate because there is an internal candidate and the candidate was white. I think assumptions are often drawn around white candidates and I don’t think that it is necessarily fair – logical maybe, but not fair.

I left work a bit early to meet my mom and sister because I thought my sister was staying the night. She wasn’t. She decided she doesn’t want to move in full time because of her relationship with Josh. I’m kind of over her. Then we went to dinner. Then my mom bought her a shit ton of clothes. I was just over it. I’m down here all the time and we rarely get dinner and I never got a shopping trip before my first professional job. I don’t want to sit here and whine, though.

There was a whole lot of drama around Ellie. I get really tired of her not listening, which she usually only does around visitors. She stresses me out a lot. Then my mom said that I was blaming my disappointment / taking out my disappointment on her. Not fair and mean.

August 5, 2017

It’s been one week, pretty much, since Cameron and I have been officially boyfriend. It’s weird because I feel that, like, passion and spark. I mean, he annoys me sometimes with constant chatter or chewing in my ear lol.. but for the most part I’m quite happy. It’s refreshing.

With Tyler I feel like I didn’t necessarily have that because I felt guilty because Blake wasn’t around, which wasn’t fair to Tyler at all.

With Blake, I had that feeling maybe in high school.. but I just haven’t felt that way in so long.

I need to go to the gym to get swole and do cardio. 🙂