March 25, 2017

I had to go to a conference for work. It wasn’t terrible, it wasn’t great.

I’m not content. I feel as though there has been a shift in my viewing of life around me. I’ve suddenly realized that the majority of my friends are much younger than me. This didn’t bother me before, but I think I need to mature and perhaps pursue friendships with existing friends that are closer in my age group.

I feel like I have nothing at times. I live in an apartment with a twenty three year old. I am single as fuck. I work in an office that I worked in as an undergrad. I’m going to be 28 in June. That’s okay. I’ll get where I’m going.

I had an interview with CU Boulder, which would be exciting. I have an interview with Chicago on Tuesday. I need to find the energy to continue to apply for positions.

It honestly doesn’t matter the trials and tribulations we face, sure they suck or whatever but when we go they go with us. You don’t need to measure up to anyone to feel successful because people won’t remember your success, unless you’re like SUPER successful, but rather how you made them feel. And even then, it’s only for a little bit. You know how often I think about my grandparents? Blake’s dad? So few.

In that sense, I think I truly need to check myself about Tyler. If I spent half the time I spend on thinking about him by being a good friend, a good son, a good brother I could positively impact those that live around me instead of living in self pity.

I want to be a dad.

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