November 28, 2016

I have an interview in two days. Am I excited for it? Perhaps. It would be a great opportunity to work more with academic partners, learn more about internship opportunities, build relationships across campus, and earn myself a decent increase in salary.

We all want to be desired, to be told we matter, to be told that folks care about us. Why are we so scared to tell people how much they matter to us? How have we arrived at a time where we rather strive for the attention of someone that ignores us instead of someone that loves us? I’m guilty of this, too. I just don’t know what’s wrong with our world.

I had been missing Blake but then he messaged me today and it made me miss him a little less because he was telling me how he had purchased cigarettes because he needed instant gratification, and then mentioned norco which I had no recollection of. I am just learning to focus on myself and my problems, and maybe that’s why I’m struggling.. because I haven’t been able to focus on what I want in so long.

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