November 21, 2016

I’m not sure how I feel about folks sometimes. Like, Matt is a great guy. At this point I’m actually cool just being friends, maybe. I am sure it would be difficult because I do care for him a lot. The other part is, I feel like I’ve had to limit my texting and messages because he has been so distant and said “we should wait until next week.” So I’m trying to respect that, but why? Like, why would any decent person not want to talk to me? I’m great.

I suppose that’s similar to what I did to that Mike guy, though. He kept trying to talk to me and eventually I just asked him to stop. I’m sure he’s a perfectly decent human being, I just felt like he was a bit too much. With that being said, I was at least honest with him so he knew.

I deserve better, I think. It’s just hard to see that right now through the lens of being ignored and looked over. It’s an injustice to me and I don’t think that I can handle that very well.

I finally think I may be able to move on from Tyler. Maybe. I asked if he was sure he didn’t want to live here with me, and he doesn’t. I mean, I know this. I’ve known this. I just have been holding out hope that he will actually change his mind, or that he would say “I do want to live with you.” Some sort of compromise. I totally just forgot the word compromise. lol.

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