Today would have marked nine years together with Blake. It showed up on my timehop and it was kind of hard. Having him not around is kind of hard, but at the same time.. it isn’t. Having company while I watch Netflix, having someone to split rent with.. sure, I’m going to miss it.
I chatted with a counselor today. It was weird. Relaying all the shit that has happened to me made it seem like I had a really rough year, and I did, but I’m still pretty optimistic.
He did help me realize that I was in a codependent relationship with Blake. I had to google it, to be honest.
“Codependent relationships signify a degree of unhealthy clinginess, where one person doesn’t have self-sufficiency or autonomy”
“These kids are often taught to subvert their own needs to please a difficult parent, and it sets them up for a long-standing pattern of trying to get love and care from a difficult person”
Uh, can I get a hallelujah?
He encouraged me to volunteer. Maybe.