July 18, 2016

So many emotions. Happy, sad, angry, apathetic. I just don’t know what to do anymore.

Friday I found out that I won’t be getting the raise I thought I was going to get. My sister told me that maybe it is a sign that I’m meant to be with Tyler in Seattle. I would like to reject that notion, but I’m still struggling to get over him. He, on the other hand, is adding cute boys in Seattle and hasn’t tried to communicate with me once. He didn’t want the same thing as me.

I’m still trying to decide what it is I want to do in terms of my job. I’m really infuriated by the whole situation.

Blake and I are getting better, to an extent. Ups and downs. Per usual. I think we are learning how to be in a relationship again. Life is hard.

I think an unfair thing that the mind does is that it forgets the pain that you’ve experienced in the past. Like, thinking back I was tempted to say “I was so happy last fall.” Sure, there were highlights like getting promoted and .. other things? I guess. But I was also dealing with Blake’s complete breakdown.

Life isn’t as great as I’d like to pretend it is. There will always be positives and negatives, though.

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