March 18, 2018

I was so busy last week that I got sick, no joke. I was in Houston from Sunday through Wednesday for a conference. I met some cool folks – Coleman, Clark, Jeremy. It was neat and the weather was warm. The conference was okay, very gay friendly but beyond that I’m not sure how I felt about it. The sessions were okay, but nothing super great.

I got back Wednesday, had to go pick up Ellie after work on Thursday, and then felt like complete crap. I took Friday off because I was ill – I laid in bed most of the day. Then Cameron came over and we just hung out. Saturday we went bowling with Anna, then to see Love, Simon with Zach and Kris, and then they came over and we played Dungeons and Dragons, made dinner, and then watched Girls Night. It was a good day, but long since I wasn’t feeling 100.

This week is the election which should be interesting. I’m very curious to see who wins.


March 4, 2018

This weekend was a whirlwind. Friday didn’t include much, Cameron came over and we had some pretty incredible sex. That’s all. Saturday we went to Portland to visit my Nana and Grandma. We also went to the Wagon Wheel. It was nice. We came back and hung out for a bit and then Zach and Kris came over as well as Sam, his friend, and Chris. Chris and Sam were into each other but Chris still has a boyfriend so it was extra. Sunday I just went to the gym with Cam and then we went to Palm Palace. It was fantastic and I’m currently dining on it for dinner.

I’m currently watching Planet Earth and Komodo Dragons are fighting. It’s intense.

February 27, 2018

The saga of the house on Greenlawn continues. Oh my goodness, this whole debacle is really something else. The taxes were estimated quite low, and by quite low I mean $2000 lower than what they thought it would be. This translates to me having to come up with nearly $1200 more at closing. To avoid this, I am now considering the conventional loan. It would be a bit more in terms of principal in monthly costs, but insurance would be much smaller meaning an overall lower monthly payment. *shrug* I dunno, maaaan.

Work has been nice this week. The students are off which gives me time to brainstorm what I want to accomplish. Also, the bus thing is nearly over. Thank God.

I went to Aut with Anna and Rob today. I didn’t drink, but it was nice just to hang out. I also took Ellie for a walk at County Farm Park which was pretty nice. 🙂

February 25, 2018

What has happened since I last wrote? I feel like this year is flying by. We are almost a quarter way done with the year of 2018.

I celebrated Cameron’s birthday yesterday with him. To do so, we just went to his family’s and hung out there all day. We went to brunch with two of his friends today as well. One of them is a bugger, but that’s okay.

I got to show my  mom and dad the house today so that’s exciting. They seemed to like it for the most part. Things to adjust but I’ve already been cognizant of it.

My stomach feels kinda weird.

February 15, 2018

Things happen so quickly! They accepted the offer and I applied for the mortgage. I am trying to set up the earnest money down. I set up the inspection. The appraisal is set up. Things might still fall apart and I’m prepared for that.

Matt keeps telling me to get a security system which is annoying. Like, I understand, but still annoying.

Work hasn’t been awful. I enjoy working with Laura.


February 10, 2018

They countered the offer on the house. Sam is taking his sweet time in explaining it and making sure we are good – I think I will be, because Robert said he would loan me money. I could also ask Audra. The offer was 95k with them bringing 3k to closing for costs. I’m excited and nervous, mainly because Sam isn’t getting back to me.

Cameron isn’t coming over this weekend because of the bachelor party, and I’m not going over because I was told I couldn’t really hang out at it.. plus I have Ellie.. plus the roads are TERRIBLE. It has not stopped snowing.

Cam downloaded Guild Wars to play with me. He’s the best.

Ellie has been having some bathroom issues lately, which is a total bummer. Really reinforces the notion that I need wood floors throughout, though. 🙂

February 8, 2018

It is like I knew what was coming last week. I literally wrote that a death would likely happen this year, and a few hours later I received a phone call from my mom that my grandpa had passed away. I was shocked. He was doing okay, I thought. Everyone thought.

I went home on Thursday and spent time with my extended family. My poor grandma. Saturday was the visitation, and Monday was the funeral. I was a pallbearer which was hard, mainly because I was in the front and seeing my grandma so torn apart. I feel for her so much. ❤

The house I was looking at fell through. Unfortunately.

January 31, 2018

I applied for a mortgage and was pre-approved! I’m looking at houses in the 100k range which isn’t GREAT, but it’s a start. I’ll get where I’m meant to 🙂

Doing this with Cameron is interesting. He wants to be super involved, and I understand that. I also want to be independent and do things on my own, but I suppose being patient will allow other options to come into focus. I just don’t like waiting.

Chris was hospitalized today so I had to leave work to go to the emergency room. I think he’s doing okay, though.

My grandpa is back at the doctor, too. Just lots of illness and likely death this year for my family. I’ve anticipated it for some time, though. It will still hurt.

January 21, 2018

I’m not starting this year off strong. I keep forgetting to write, sorry future self.

A lot has been happening in the family realm. My grandpa was hospitalized for a ruptured disc in his neck. He was doing fine until I left Portland. Apparently he is having quite the difficult time swallowing and my mom said he sounds like Kermit. I hope he will be okay.

My dad also had surgery for a hernia. Less severe, but still a surgery to stress over.

Work has been okay, just lots of drama from the student employees. I think they were used to the way the previous manager did things and I have to be a bit more strict. We will likely have to scale back the next trip because we are in the negatives right now and I want to try to remain in the positives or at least break even.

We have had a few students step down as well which is unfortunate, but I hope in time it will have proven effective for this group of students.

On the dating front, things are going well. Next week will mark our 6 months which is a bit weird to think about. I still think about Blake and Tyler every now and again, and Troye Sivan’s new song “The Good Side” made me think of Blake and how unfortunate everything has been in his life, but I think he’s happy now. Tyler made a video about a grindr guy saying he wasn’t as cute in person. *shrug* I can’t do anything about it.

Cam and I might move in together this summer. I suppose it makes sense but I’m worried that I’ll have to throw out things. Some of Tyler’s things. I think it makes sense, but I also have positive associations with these objects and throwing them out will hurt. Sometimes hurt is necessary, though. Cam shouldn’t be subjected to seeing something that belonged to my ex. I thought about texting Tyler and seeing if he’d want it back.

I want to be somewhere warm.

I feel like my meds make me numb to things – drinking, relationships, family. I just don’t care about anything, like I know that I should but I just don’t. Everything is temporary, including me. Why fret over expectations? They are temporary, too.

January 13, 2018

Things have been going pretty swell lately. I haven’t done a whole lot in 2018.

Work has been slow, which I’m thankful for. I’ve drafted a proposal to get a graduate intern at CSG. I think this will be helpful in implementing meetings and learning outcomes with more students which is always my jam.

Things with Cam have been good for the most part. He still has breakdowns, almost weekly. It’s a lot, but they last like 2 hours and then they are over. I don’t know what he’s going to be like with other things that arise – buying a house, children, all that jazz. I can’t have a partner that breaks down every week over some dumb shit.

My grandpa is in the hospital with some thing where his muscle is basically breaking down and poising the blood. He seems to be okay, they are going to do surgery soon. He should be taking better care of himself, along with my dad, but they just don’t care.

I messaged Tyler on instagram yesterday because he posted a boomerang of Joey. I miss Joey and watching him grow up 😦 I need more animals (but also no).